Understanding Relationship

The need for relationships is fundamental in our life because humans are social beings. Humans like to socialize because we seek for attention. Furthermore, approval is a psychological need, and by socializing we fulfill that need. Relational needs help us to interpret and understand what people really want to get out of relating to each other. It is just like when the least expected person comes by and sit down to lend us his/her ear, we would feel loved. Although relational needs are not the basic needs for survival – like food, air or shelter, they are the key essential elements of our human relationships which make life worth living. It is shown that it can contribute widely to a good quality of life. Many a times, our happiness or despair is affected by the quality of our relationships. The best satisfaction in life comes from good relationships with people whom we love. Not only do we become more confident and relaxed, to love and be loved is the greatest feeling the world. And I’ve learnt that why love is so great? Firstly, love provides warmth to anyone who feels lonely. Secondly, love soothes an anxious and angry heart. Thirdly, love pulls us back from those stressful struggles. Lastly, love can be a huge motivation in our daily life. Nothing can come close to the love that a mother showers her children with. That is one important relationship which makes me who I am today. I can proudly say that most women are excellent mothers. They carry their young before they are born and continue to nurture them throughout their childhood and even into adulthood. Mothers also make sure that their children are safe and happy throughout their growing stage. It is the unconditional love that a mother feels that drives these feelings. Raising children comes with many frustrations, from the needy new born baby that requires regular care to the sullen teenager. A mother’s role is really commendable as they always put their children before anything else, including their comfort and happiness. My strong relationship with my mother made me come to a realization that to experience intimacy in relationships, it is important to build trust, openness and self-awareness when relating. Under the care of my mother for almost 18 years, I have learnt to be a person of good values and I will not stop improving myself! Some of the more qualities which I am more influenced are like – generous, trustworthy, humble, lovable and easy going. I have learnt that self-awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. It allows me to understand other people, how they perceive me, my attitude and my responses to them in the moment. Having to develop self-awareness, I am able to change the interpretations in my mind and thus allowing me to change my emotions. This is important because I feel that it is self-awareness that can allow me to be aware of where my thoughts and emotions are actually taking me. Relationships are easy until there is emotional turmoil. This is similar whether one is at work or in his/her personal life. I feel that when one can master to change the interpretation in his/her own mind of emotions will effect on the emotional quality of the relationship. When one can change the emotions in his/her relationship, then new possibilities are opened up entirely in his/her life. From lesson 1, I have learnt that self-awareness is developed through practices in focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behavior. It isn’t learned from reading a book. It is just like when we read a book, we are focusing all of our attention on the conceptual ideas in the book. With our attention focused in a book, one is actually only practicing but not paying attention to his/her own behavior, emotions and personality. One of the few important points that I have learnt to instill self-awareness is to identify my strength and weaknesses and never be afraid to look into the mirror to ponder or reflect about the positive traits I have in myself. In other words, it is engaging in self-affirmation. I have learnt that with self-awareness, this will help the relationship with my loved ones to be a more quality driven one because once I have learnt to love and value myself, I am then able to cherish my partner more without having to care how others judge us. Lesson 1 is definitely an enjoyable and valuable lesson and it has taught me many useful life long skills to prepare myself in future relationships.